The New York Cannibal cop, Gilberto Valle, has still not been sentenced. On June 18, 2013, the convicted former New York City policeman filed court documents requesting that his 100 convictions be thrown out. It is unclear how the Court will respond to his request. In the meantime, All Things Crime Blog would like to re-post our original short meditation on wannabe Cannibal Cop Valle and his disquieting lack of culinary sophistication.
by BJW Nashe and Patrick H. Moore
The New York City police officer currently on trial for blathering online about his cannibalistic fantasies appears to be more of an ignoramus than a genuine threat to society. He’s definitely non compos mentis when it comes to crime writing.
When Bret Easton Ellis published American Psycho, his disturbing tale of a name-brand conscious Wall Street trader who spends his spare time raping and butchering people, he received plenty of criticism for the book, as well as a fair share of praise. But no 
sane person suggested he be arrested and put on trial. Love it or hate it, his work has literary merit. American Psycho is a provocative, well-written indictment of the mass murderer mentality. The Cannibal Cop’s dark fantasies, on the other hand, appear to have no more literary value than the average masturbatory chat room drivel. Though it must be admitted, at times they evidently resemble actual plans, [1] rather than mere fantasies. The “plans” themselves are criminally deranged, yet so incredibly moronic they are hard to take seriously. Cannibal porn? With backyard barbecue pits, featuring victims with apples stuffed into their mouths? This is lame, cartoonish, Texas Chain Saw Massacre material.
If you’re going to engage in public discourse about disturbing culinary compulsions, at least show some verve, some style, some panache. Second-rate Hannibal Lecter role-playing will never impress us here at the All Things Crime blog. Any attempt by the media to play up the “outrageous” or “shocking” nature of the Cannibal Cop story misses the point — namely, that male fantasies centered around brutalizing and killing women, assuming they are not acted upon, are just pathetic and dumb. At the very least, the Cannibal Cop should be facing sanctions for crimes against the imagination. The Marquis de Sade’s nightmares were pretty mind-numbing –page after page of monotonous cruelty and cold fornication — but compared to the Cannibal Cop, the “divine Marquis” was positively Shakespearean.
Now the Cannibal Cop’s trial is turning into a tortured graduate philosophy seminar on the conceptual and legal difference between “reality” and “fantasy.” Seems doubtful that the defendant could be convicted for imaginary “cannibalism plans.” But who knows? Maybe he should be locked up. Or perhaps, instead of prison time, he should be whisked away to some S & M dungeon, where a team of hardcore dominatrixes could give him the time of day. After all, if these make-believe cannibals are going to bother us with their fake sadism and blatant misogyny, shouldn’t experts in the field be able to give them a taste of truly creative play time? I’m sure there are plenty of women in New York who’d be happy to oblige…
[1] The Cannibal Cop, Gilberto Valle, is charged with one count of 18 U.S.C. §1201, Conspiracy to Kidnap, and one count of 18 
U.S.C. §1030(a)(2)(b), Accessing a Computer without Authorization and Exceeding Authorized Access from Any Department orAgency of the United States. The first charge is extremely serious and, if convicted, Officer Valle apparently faces a maximum penalty of life in prison. The second charge carries a maximum sentence of five years of imprisonment. The presiding jurist, the Honorable Paul G. Gardephe, is better known for handling serious RICO cases and white collar securities fraud cases than for administering Cannibal Cop trials. It should be noted that Officer Valle could be acquitted of the Conspiracy to Kidnap count and still be convicted of the Unauthorized Computer Access count. This does not appear to be an unlikely occurrence. With a 14 per cent “good time” discount and early release to a halfway house, Officer Valle would serve around 46 months in Federal prison.