by LC “Long Chain” Henry
At present all 50 states permit civilians to obtain concealed weapons permits. In a recent post entitled “Gun Safety Instructor Shoots Student in Gun Safety Class”, it was suggested that obtaining a concealed weapons permit will soon be a rite of passage for young American men (and women) and may soon be even more important than traditional milestones such as losing one’s virginity or reaching the legal drinking age.
One of the key and obvious questions that must be dealt with legislatively as more and more Americans begin to “pack concealed heat” is what — if any — restrictions will be placed upon where you can carry your firearm. For example, we know you can’t bring your weapon into a courthouse; it will never get past the metal detector. But what about churches and what about schools? What about hospitals? Suppose you are a janitor at an elementary school. Can you keep your weapon on your person as you push your broom?
And, of course, there’s the BIG ISSUE of whether you can carry your concealed weapon into your neighboring watering hole. If this was to be permitted, a red-blooded American male could, in theory, hit the proverbial grand slam. He could drive to his favorite bar legally armed with both his driver’s license and his firearm. Then he could imbibe his alcoholic beverage of choice at his bar while sweet-talking a female patron. If he was lucky enough to “get lucky”, he and she could go out to his or her vehicle to “really get to know each other.” All the while his concealed weapon would be on his person. If anyone was rude enough to interrupt them while they were “getting to know each other”, he could take out his weapon and possibly even shoot the intruder under a “stand your ground” theory.
What a wonderful country we live in! This is truly paradise.
* * * * *
And the good news is we are well on the way to this fantasy becoming a reality. And our friends in North Carolina are certainly doing their part. Last week the Republican-dominated North Carolina state legislature signed off on a bill that will allow legitimate holders of concealed weapons to bring their firearm into a bar unless the owner explicitly prohibits it.
Now not everyone agrees that this is a good idea. Some naysayers even claim that alcohol impairs both a gun owner’s accuracy and judgment, which could mean that a drunken horny dude attempting to “stand his ground” might pull out his weapon and mistakenly shoot the wrong guy or — God forbid — even his innocent girlfriend
And it gets worse. Researchers at the University of California, Davis, have found that behaviors such as binge drinking and chronic alcohol abuse are more common among gun owners than among those who don’t own guns. Also, statistics show that about one-third of firearm-related deaths already involve alcohol. And — oh the horror — the study also revealed that gun owners who carry concealed weapons drink more than gun owners who don’t carry.
And there’s still more. A recent study published in the journal, Criminal Justice and Behavior, based on surveying 77 convicted murderers, found that 93 percent of “impulsive murderers” (these are murderers who don’t plan their slayings in advance) had a history of drug or alcohol abuse.
North Carolina is not the first state to allow concealed weapons in bars.. Tennessee came first in 2009, and at least six states have followed suit. (Oddly enough, the Tennessee legislator who sponsored that state’s bill was arrested in 2011 for driving under the influence with a loaded handgun by his side.)
* * * * *
But one unfortunate incident will not spoil Long Chain Henry’s party. In fact, I envision a truly wonderful scenario in which I hang at my favorite sports bar, drink the alcoholic beverage of my choice, meet the woman of my dreams and “get lucky”, all the while watching the NFL on the big screen T.V. and never even have to pull out my weapon to “stand my ground.” This is the land of the free. Big dreams are necessary. Dream on, my friends.