commentary by Patrick H. Moore
As improbable as it sounds, some children miraculously survive their teenage years. In fact, the statistics show that most teens make it to the age of 21 more or less intact. But, sadly, there are those who do not. Some of these children take their own lives; others die in accidents or from drug overdoses. And then there are the occasional unlucky souls who are murdered randomly or have their lives snuffed out by predators they meet online.
Although people from all over the world have been coming to America since the first explorers reached our shores 600 or 700 years ago, it is not that unusual for American citizens to move abroad permanently. For example, I have a niece who has been residing in Merrie Olde England for about seven years now, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she chooses to become a permanent resident of that island nation.
While it’s not clear when Breck Bednar, and his Michigan-born mother, Lorin LaFave, moved to England, it appears that the pleasant-looking teen adjusted to his new environment without too much difficulty. He attended a Christian school and was a member of the British air cadets. His mother Lorin describes him as “a relaxed and warm-hearted boy who had plenty of friends.”
Like many young people raised in our modern technological era, Breck loved computers and became “addicted” to playing online games with his friends after school.
One of the unavoidable dangers inherent in cyber communications is the possibility that an individual, whether young or old, will hook up with a dangerous or unsavory character. Breck’s mother was very aware of the potential dangers her son could face interacting with strangers in cyber-space.
At some point, while happily gaming with his cyber friends, Breck began interacting online with a baby-faced, 19-year-old computer engineer named Lewis Daynes, who resided with his family in Grays in Essex, approximately 30 miles from Breck’s home. Lorin LaFave learned about their friendship and sensed that there was something distinctly rotten about Lewis Daynes. She told her son that he was not allowed to interact with Lewis, either online or in person. Lorin was so concerned that she took the following somewhat drastic steps:
She “limited his access to electronics, installed parental controls and forbade him from using the same server as” Lewis Daynes. One would have hoped that this would have been sufficient to drive a wedge between Breck and Lewis but such was not the case.
Meanwhile Lorin LaFave hoped and prayed that Lewis was growing out of his “gaming addiction” and “would finally be interested in girls and go back to enjoying time with his family.”
Nonetheless, Lorin was so concerned that she actually took the rather unusual step of reporting her concern that Lewis Daynes might pose a danger to her son to the British police who, unsurprisingly, did nothing.
Lorin LaFave’s deepest fears were realized in February when she “got a text message from her ex-husband saying Breck had not showed up, although he was supposed to stay with his dad for the weekend. Breck evidently had gone to meet Lewis Daynes, instead.”
It’s horrible to reflect on the anguish Lorin must have felt upon getting the news. There she was helpless to do anything to help her naive son. Although it must have seemed like forever, it was only a few hours after her ex’s text message when “Breck’s siblings started receiving messages from friends saying their brother had been killed. According to LaFave, Daynes took photos of Breck and posted them on social media.”
(The peculiar way in which a death or a murder is somehow not complete in today’s world until news and/or photos describing it are posted online is truly bizarre. It’s almost like the posting of the awful news serve as a sort of “climax” to the event.)
Once the police were alerted, they went to the Daynes’ house in Essex where they found Breck in the process of dying from knife wounds. First aid was rendered “but the Christian school student was declared dead by medical staff a short time later.” When the police arrived, Daynes was apparently still at the crime scene and was arrested and charged with murder. In November, in what has been described as “an unexpected turn of events”, he pleaded guilty to stabbing Breck. He will be sentenced on January 12, 2015.
Louise Dewast writes for ABC News:
Now, LaFave is behind an effort to raise awareness about what she says are dangers of online gaming.
“I want Breck’s tragedy to help open the eyes of everyone to recognize the dangers of online predators,” she said in a statement. “It is a very real danger today.”
“People think it only happens to anti-social kids, but it’s just not true,” she told ABC News.
One month after her son’s death, Lorin created The Breck Bednar Memorial Fund which is designed to promote awareness for teenagers and their parents of the dangers of online interaction with strangers. Lorin’s watchword is: “Play virtual, live real.”
The LaFave family is understandably upset over the fact the police failed to act when Lorin warned them about Lewis Daynes “and is filing a legal action against Essex and Surrey Police” over the way they handled the case.
In truth, though, it seems improbable that British law enforcement, without solid legal grounds, would have had any effective way to short-circuit Lewis Daynes’ murderous intent. The moral of this story is that online gaming and online interactions of any kind between teens and/or teens and adults posing as teens can be and sometimes are incredibly dangerous. I certainly salute Lorin LaFave’s courageous effort to increase public awareness of this very real problem and hope that her message is received and acted upon by concerned parents whose only wish is to protect their children so that they too can reach the ripe old age of 21.