commentary by Patrick H. Moore
Marshawn Lynch AKA Beast Mode
This weekend we had two momentous events that elevated the Great American Bad Choice Sweepstakes to new and previously unscaled heights. With 30 seconds left in the Super Bowl, we had the moronic play call by Seattle’s offensive coordinator with Beast Mode in the backfield and the ball on New England’s one yard line. Instead of unleashing the Great Beast, Seattle ran a dangerous slant route across the middle and Russell Wilson, who does not have a cannon for an arm, threw an interception which meant victory for Bill Belichek and the Brady Bunch, warts and all. I’m sure John Nardizzi, an ardent Patriots fan, is pleased, and though I was rooting for Seattle, I’m thrilled for John.
But in the end, a game is a game is a game, and although virtually everyone agrees it was a terrible play call, it is of little importance other than to the players, their families and our 100 million rabid NFL fans.
What is much more important is what happened at America’s Best Value Inn on Saturday where rooms rent for around $40 per night in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Let me set the scene:
We have an all-American family who appear to be just a bit down on their luck, which is presumably why they have been living at the motel for the past week. The family consists of Mom and Dad, Grandmother, a 3-year-old son, a 2-year-old daughter, two faithful pit bulls and an 8-month-old fetus.
Dad apparently has a criminal record, though not necessarily a serious one. Therefore, he is not legally allowed to possess a firearm. Mom, however, like so many ardent Americans, believes that the family needs a firearm for protection (and you can sort of see why considering the fact the family is stuck there at America’s Best Value Inn).
The problem is that with five people, two pit bulls and a fetus in a motel room, there’s not a lot of spare space to safely store the firearm. Therefore, Mom made what in retrospect was a Very Bad Choice. She decided to keep her new 9 mm handgun in her purse, perhaps to keep it away from Dad who – based on his record – is not allowed to handle the gun. (In California, Dad would probably be in violation merely by living in the same room as the handgun but perhaps New Mexico law is not as stringent.)
So that’s the situation. Given the circumstances, you probably have some sense of what happened next. Just to set your minds at rest, let me assure you that although a couple people were wounded, no one was killed. Whew! In that sense, the situation was not unlike the Super Bowl where despite Bad Choice play calling, no one was killed (although I imagine some fans would like to kill the Seattle offensive coordinator).
As luck would have it, the 3-year-old son, who is apparently somewhat of a technological wizard (and a very good shot), decided he wanted to play with an iPad which he believed was in Mom’s purse. So he goes fishing around for the iPad, but instead of pulling out the iPad, he extracts the loaded handgun and proceeds to fire off a round which in the close quarters of the motel room, did a fair amount of damage. First the bullet zipped through Dad’s buttocks and then it lodged in Mom’s shoulder. Quite a feat for the young marksman!
Although their injuries were not life-threatening, both parents were hospitalized. Based on the fact she is eight months pregnant, Mom is being kept at the hospital for observation.
According to Albuquerque Police Officer Simon Drobik, who was first to arrive at the Best Value Inn on Saturday afternoon, Dad has been released.
Laila Kearney of Reuters writes:
“On the kid’s side, it’s a horrible accident that happened, but the parents are still culpable,” Drobik said. “They should have secured the gun.” (Maybe they should have given it to the judicious pit bulls and told them to guard it with their lives.)
Officer Drobik explained that although the parents could face felony negligence charges, no charges will be brought against the 3-year-old boy. Personally, I’m not so sure about the child getting off scot-free. Shouldn’t a boy this advanced be held responsible for confusing a handgun with an iPad? It’s almost like he wanted to get his hands on the gun and used the purported search for the iPad as a way to appropriate the handgun. But perhaps I’m letting my imagination run away with me. This would not be the first time.
As a result of this Extremely Bad Choice on the part of Mom and the Boy, he and his Sister were placed with child protective services where they will spend at least 48 hours. The innocent pit bulls were taken into custody by “animal control staff”.
There is no word yet as to whether the parents will actually be charged, or if they will escape with a warning/reprimand.