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Top 10 Truly Crazy American Assassins

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adapted by Patrick H. Moore

Although Europe and Asia have a long legacy of political assassinations, their sober-minded idealists are no match for our off-the-hook, whacked out assassins — lunatics by any measure, nutty, obsessed, and in the end, treacherous. Although many of them have “rubbed out” Presidents and politicians, other have opted to take down rockers and pop stars. The 10 names on this list are courtesy of Ryan McKee at www.askmen.com. The descriptions are adapted by Patrick H. Moore. We begin with Sirhan Sirhan:

#10 — Sirhan Sirhan

Sirhan Sirhan Smiling at CameraI’ve always wanted to have the same first and last names. Not! Who knows how it might affect one’s personality? What is known about Sirhan Sirhan is that he was born to a Palestinian Christian family. That alone must have been strange. There aren’t very many Palestinian Christian families. His family immigrated to the US while he was still a child. As a teenager he tried on various religions for size and dabbled in the occult. The he became an Arab nationalist. Originally an ardent supporter of Robert Kennedy, he became convinced that he “was deliberately betrayed” by RFK’s support for Israel in the Six-Days War. He shot Kennedy in Los Angeles exactly one year later. After his arrest, a spiral-bound notebook was found containing his diary — a series of nonsensical, stream-of-consciousness scribbles.

 

 

#9 — Lee Harvey Oswald

assa2For the moment, put any JFK conspiracies on the back burner. Whether or not Oswald was working alone when he shot the President, there is little doubt that he was a man with serious problems. A Marxist in theory, he joined — of all things — the US Marines. Once in uniform, he accidentally shot himself in the arm. Later on in the Philippines, he made “a clean break with reality” and began shooting aimlessly into the jungle. Upon being discharged, he defected to the Soviet Union. He discovered the Big Red Nation was rife with problems so he defected back home. Although it wasn’t discovered until later, prior to the JFK assassination, he attempted to take down US General Walker. Then history flexed its curious muscles and he shot and killed Kennedy in Dallas in November of 1963.

 

#8 — Leon Czolgosz

assa3A fair description of anarchists is that they are angry folks with anti-social tendencies. Leon Czolgosz was a true believer in not just “small government” but no government at all. Before long, his fanaticism and violent rambling scared away the other anarchists, who were probably not that stable in their own right. A party of one, Czolgosv decided to take matters into his own hands. He assassinated President William McKinley in 1901, believing that the government would fall immediately thereafter and the poor would stop being exploited. He was wrong. The poor are just as poor as ever today and there are a lot of them. At his trial, Czolgosz accepted his fate, viewed himself as a martyr and pleaded guilty.

 

#7 — Dan White

assa4Former San Francisco Supervisor Dan White didn’t like gay people. He blamed gay activist and politician Harvey Milk when he was voted out of office. So he shot both Milk and Mayor George Moscone in “reprisal.” At his trial, he pleaded temporary insanity. What was weird was his rationale. His psychiatrist confirmed that he displayed signs of severe depression, but based it on the fact White had gone from being a health nut to eating junk food. One journalist ingeniously dubbed this the “Twinkie Defense.” Remarkably, it worked, and White got off easy with only a five year prison sentence. But it didn’t work out for White in the long run. After he got out of prison, he couldn’t handle being the most-hated man in San Francisco. Then he truly was depressed and ultimately committed suicide.

 

#6 — Yolanda Saldivar

assa5Yolanda Saldivar no doubt deeply loved the famous Latina pop singer Selena. She was also president of Selena’s Texas fan club and managed her boutiques. She saw herself as the critically necessary figure who was tasked with the job of protecting Selena’s private life. Therefore, she thought she should be payed more and began embezzling money. Selena rejected Saldivar’s rationalization and fired her. Saldivar’s response was to pull a gun out of her purse and shoot her — dead. During the trial, she claimed it was an accident. This was unconvincing, however, mostly because after the shooting, Saldívar kept police at bay for 10 hours by holding the gun to her own head.

 

#5 — Nathan Gale

assa6Paranoid schizophrenic and ex-Marine Nathan Gale was subject to delusions. He believed that beloved Pantera guitarist “Dimebag” Darrell had stolen and used his lyrics. He claimed Dirtbag and the guys were “trying to steal his identity.” At one point he showed up at a Pantera band practice with Pantera lyrics claiming them as his own. Unfortunately, his obsession did not diminish with time. He started stalking Darrell’s new band, Damageplan, and at their concert on December 8, 2004, he jumped onstage, shot Darrell in the back of the head, and opened fire on the crowd.

 

#4 — Mark David Chapman

MVD2004093029153Mark David Chapman is one of America’s most famous assassins for the simple reason that on December 8, 1980, in New York City, he shot John Lennon four times in the back outside the Dakota apartment building. Then he sat down on the curb and waited until the police arrived. As is well known, back at his hotel room, he’d left a copy of A Catcher in the Rye with the inscription: “This is my statement.” As you may know, in JD Salinger’s famous novel, the protagonist Holden Caulfield is obsessed with the fact that he believes the world is full of “phonies”. Somehow, he decided John Lennon was also a phony and that assassinating him would make him like Holden Caulfield, a man of integrity. Chapman admitted that the voices in his head, or “little people,” as he called them, told him not to pull the trigger — but he ignored them and the world became a much poorer place as a result.

 

#3 — David Lawrence

assa8Although David Lawrence is not that well known anymore, he holds the ignoble distinction of being the first known person to attempt to assassinate an American president. The deranged house painter fired two guns, point blank, at Andrew Jackson. Both guns misfired, however, and Jackson legendarily beat down the attacker with his cane. Lawrence was so crazy that he believed he was King Richard III of England and that the American government owed him a large sum of money. He somehow thought killing Jackson would enable him to collect his money and reclaim his place on the English throne. He also blamed Jackson for his father’s death, even though his dad had died nine years earlier and had never even been to America. Talk about looney!

 

#2 — John Hinckley, Jr.

assa9John Hinckley Jr. is right up there with Mark David Chapman. He watched “Taxi Driver” with Jodie Foster a few times too many. His obsession with the actress grew and when she began attending Yale University, he moved to New Haven and started stalking her. He slipped poems under her door and called her constantly. But he couldn’t get her attention and grew frustrated. He then considered hijacking an airplane or committing suicide in front of her. The he came up with what he considered a better plan — assassinating a president. After Reagan’s election, Hinckley went to Washington and fired at him six times. Reagan survived, however, and Hinckley wound up in a mental institution.

 

#1 — Charles Giteau

assa10President Garfield’s assassin joined a sex cult for God. The women did not find him attractive, however, and referred to him as “Charles Gitout” while showing him the door. So he moved to Washington and wrote a speech in support of Ulysses S. Grant for the 1880 presidential campaign. When Garfield won the nomination instead, Crazy Charles crossed out Grant’s name and wrote in Garfield’s. He delivered the speech twice and was convinced it led to Garfield winning the election. Giteau then demanded an ambassadorship to Paris. No one paid any attention except for God who told him to assassinate the president. Giteau complied with God’s command. At his execution, Guiteau asked for an orchestra to accompany him as he would sing a song he wrote himself, “I am Going to the Lordy.” Perhaps predictably, Charles’ final request was denied.

 

 

 

 


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